Two letters to the Hounds

Dear First Half Hounds,

Great work.  We were running with a quality team, and were right there trading points with them.  We were working the disc around, running hard and connecting on our strikes.  We played tough defense, making them work, covering the deep and causing turnovers.  There was a lot to like about the way we played.

Regards,

Me

Dear Second Half Hounds,

Boo.

Sincerely,

Me

This is not a button

Ceci n'est pas un bouton

Tonight we are playing "It's not a button" at 10:00 on Field A. This is another one of Kev's teams (although I don't think Kev is on this one), so they will be a solid opponent. Here's hoping that Kev stacked his Tony & Carmel team, so this one won't be as good.

Strategy-wise, we will have to keep in mind that the field is much thinner, so there is less space to work with. Keeping the disc moving, and making solid, smart passes will be very important, because it's going to be more crowded that a Tokyo subway at rush hour.

I had previously asked The White Stripes for some help scouting this team, but unfortunately after years of loud music and drugs, I think Jack White didn't hear me correctly. Although if this team was a button, I'm sure it would be the hardest button to button.

Pre-game Rock Bandage

Don't forget to come early to my place for some Rock Band. I'll have some snacks and beverages there, but probably not enough for a complete dinner.

I can't wait to hear Simon sing Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld!

Giving the people what they want

So I do one serious ultimate post and get a complaint:

You've changed man. Your posts used to be a quick reference to the Simpsons, maybe a clip from Family Guy or a weird 90s band that nobody remembers. Now you're all serious about strategy and stuff.

And I'm still the only one who reads this. Cater to your audience!

When you say that, it makes me have a Sadgasm...

A refresher on Speedpoint

I played my first indoor game of the season last night, right after playing my final outdoor game of the season. Thank Jeebus indoor is starting, because it was colder than Hell in a Capital One commercial. Seriously, I haven't worn that many layers to play Ultimate since Snowplate. Come to think of it, it might have actually been warmer at Snowplate!

So, some important rule differences to note about Speedpoint:

1. Stall Count is 8, not 10.
2. If the disc hits an object that is out of bounds, it's a turnover at the spot where it went out of bounds, not where it hit the object.
3. When there is a score, or when there is a turnover in the endzone in the endzone, the disc is put into play from that spot. It is not walked up to the goalline.
4. If the disc lands or rolls out of the endzone, then the play is restarted on the goalline

Aside from rules, there is the change in strategy from outdoor to indoor. After a crap-load of ultimate this summer, it was very strange to play indoor. No wind means that swilly throws are always in play, and of course everyone starts to pull out the hammer.

There is also the change in field size. While Field B is wider than CC Sabathia, Fields A and C are much narrower, so it will be important to maintain a solid structure when making cuts. On offense we'll be running a 3-3 Horizontal.

As we have learned from experience, there are some keys to success in the indoor game. Cuts should be timed well to maximize openness without cutting others off. As well, cutters should try to keep into their lanes. Also, since it's speedpoint, everyone should always be running hard and subbing quickly. If you're not running...sub off!

As we'll be running a Ho, it is imperative that we get the disc off of the sideline. If we have the disc within 10 feet of the forced sideline (unless there is an open upfield pass right away), we should be looking to swing the disc to get it off the line. This will open up the field, get more cutters involved with the play, allow the Ho stack to fluorish, and minimize any dangers of hitting the mesh/lights.

Finally, we should try to keep the disc moving as much as possible. Lots of passes keeps the defense on their heels. Obviously, we'll pull out the long bombs (especially with Frogger on the team), but we should try to play an up-tempo style, which I think suits our speed and overall team hustle.

Tonight we begin play with Tony and Carmel, one of the strongest teams in the league. Let's work hard and start off the season with a big upset victory!

No Birds Allowed?

I was catching up at Idea Drunk, and saw a great post from a couple of weeks ago (not many words, lots of pictures...my kind of reading).

There are a couple cool pictures, including one that looks like a girl coming out of a Stargate. But there is one picture that I'm calling shenanigans on:

There is no way this is a real sign. Not possible. I don't believe it for a second. Why not? Have you ever seen a "No birds allowed" sign before? No. You know why? Because they don't exist!

For one, look at the sign. If you notice, it is exactly the same shape as the seagull, including the part at the tail that has the feathers sticking up, which isn't always the case. Also, look at the legs: if you were going to make this sign, are you really going to go through the trouble of making sure the bird's knees (or whatever they are) are detailed like that?

Even if you think a sign like that is real, in which situation would it be used? Is someone bringing their pet birds to this part of town? "Damn, I was hoping to bring Squawkie down to the beach today for some fun and swimming, but look at the sign. Shit. I guess we have to go back to our weekly visits to the dump." I don't think so. I know there are some weird pets out there, but come on, a seagull?

Well, if it's not directed at humans, then it can only be there as a notice for birds. But if that is the case then...um...what? They're birds. They can't read. Or understand signs. If they could, wouldn't this sign be all over Trafalgar Square?

I can just picture it...

Bird 1 - "Hey Celeste, what are you up to?"
Bird 2 - "Not much Withrow...I'm hungry, so I was thinking of heading to the beach and stealing someone's hot dog while they weren't looking."
Withrow - "That sounds like fun. Mind if I come? The crazy bread lady didn't show up at the park this morning, so I'm hungry too."
Celeste - "Sure, no problem...let's go."

- Celeste and Withrow arrive at the beach.

Withrow - "Hey, look at that kid, he's totally going to drop his sandwich. Ready to go in?"
Celeste - "Whoa, wait a minute Withrow, look at that sign. It says that we aren't allowed here."
Withrow - "What the...? Really? Oh come on. I've been coming here for years! THIS IS BULLSHIT!!"
Celeste - "Hey man, don't blame me, I'm just a bird who can comprehend what that sign says somehow."
Withrow - "Goddammit. First they kick us out of the subway stations, now this. This fucking city makes me sick. You know how much more garbage there would be on the streets if it wasn't for us? I am so going to write a letter to the editor about this."
Celeste - "I hear ya. Want to go poop on Dave Winfield's car instead?"
Withrow - "Oh, you always know how to cheer me up...I fucking hate that asshole."
Celeste - "Let's book."

My Electoral Paradox

With today being the Federal Election, obviously I have to go cast my vote after work. However, my choice is not as simple as voting for the candidate who I think would be best to lead Canada.

Because of our system of government, the choice in my riding comes down to voting between the NDP and Liberal candidates. The Conservative candidate has always been a lost cause in this riding...I don't even know who it is this year (not like I'd vote for them anyway). As for Green...ask me again in 10 years when they might actually be viable as a party.

And this is where my Electoral Paradox comes in. My preference is to vote for Olivia Chow, the NDP candidate. But, if I do that, I am voting against a Liberal, Christine Innes, with a good chance of winning, thus (theoretically) weakening the Liberals' numbers. So for me, a vote for the NDP is a vote for the Conservatives and sweater boy. And I can't be a part of that.

[Of course, if I vote for Innes, then I'm voting for the Liberals...and Stephane Dion. Ugh. He exites me about as much as the propects of getting a colonoscopy.]

So that's my conundrum, which is probably similar to what everyone else is facing today (well...the 65% of us, that is).

It probably doesn't really matter though. We all know that the zombies will be coming for us shortly...

It's on

Dear person who I beat in the Fantasy Hockey Pool last year,

I think you are mistaken about the tiebreakers....I didn't have Sidney Crosby on my team last year (zing!).

You're going down harder than Big Fish after one of my motivational speeches.

Sincerely, 

The two-time champion of the Springfield Shinny League.