A sign that the Apocalypse is upon us

From: Christian Parsons

Subject:  Re: Hounds @ BMO - Jan 28th

Simon,

I think the game is at 9pm, not 10pm.

2798     21:00 - 21:55     BMO A     Sofa King: We ...     Release The Ho...

- Christian

From:  "Maycock, Simon"

Subject:  Hounds @BMO - Jan 28th

Hounds,

Semi-Finals next week, and we play the #1 seed...Sofa Kings!  Same roster as last week except Nadia back in for Connie.

Time     10pm

Versus     Sofa Kings

Place     BMO A

Roster

Guys     Chris, Tien, SImon, Joel, Christian, Austin, Owen, Marc

Gals      Nat, Bonnie, Lyanne, Nadia (in for Laura)

Subs

Marc in for Mark W

Simon

Christian correcting Simon on the schedule?  Has hell frozen over?  Are pigs flying?

How else to explain this?  I think it's a sign from God, but don't quote me on that.

We must be headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.

This must mean Old Testament, real wrath-of-God type stuff...fire and brimstone coming down from the skies.  Rivers and seas boiling!

Forty years of darkness; earthquakes, volcanoes!

The dead rising from the grave!

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together...mass hysteria!

What Really Grinds My Gears

You know what really grinds my gears?  People who don't freaking signal when I'm driving behind them.  I see you there, talking on your cell about how annoying Nancy in Accounting is while changing songs on your iPod because you really wanted to hear that Colbie Caillat song again because it reminds you of that summer before Grade 12 when you went all the way with that cute hockey player and he totally would have gone out with you except he was leaving for Michigan in a month and he was afraid of having to break up.  Well here I am, stuck waiting behind you through the entire freaking green light when all I want is to get home so I can watch OC re-runs and drink a few beers, but not all of my beers because the cheap-ass plastic bag from the Beer Store split open so one of the bottles smashed on the ground.  What the hell?  You people recycle everything, right?  Try recycling up some tensile strength so my beer doesn't explode on the floor while I'm rushing through the door...and freaking signal!  I CAN'T READ YOUR MIND!

And that's what grinds my gears.

If you were a man I'd punch you right in the mouth

Good evening, I'm Ron Burgundy, and here's what's happening in your world tonight.

Release the Hounds won their flatball game against the Bush League All-stars by a score of 19-18 in a game played late Monday night at BMO Field.

The Hounds started off hotter than Lyanne's jacuzzi in Sudbury, attacking the All-Stars deep to take an early lead, which, with the help of some hard-nosed defense and quick disc movement helped the Hounds to win the rematch.   Of course, this was the second of back-to-back games between the two squadrons, and rumour has it that this game had playoff implications.  Here's one anchorman who is hoping that was indeed the case.

You stay classy Hounds. I'm Ron Burgundy.

And...scene.

To keep with the Anchorman theme, check out the clip that was the inspiration.  If you heard Christian and I before the game (I know...no one actually listens to us) then you heard it to.

It's a long clip, so if you're in a hurry, here are some highlights:

:00 -- Cannonball!

:38 -- That's bush...bush league.

5:20 -- I love lamp.

8:17 -- Afternoon Delight.

Oh, and Sid Seixeiro: It's funny to say the "classy" line every so often.  When you do it every day, it's annoying.  Please stop.

RTH Libs

Apparently, there could be stretches of time where updates on this blog are a little less frequent.  I know, crazy to consider, but still possible.  Anyway, should that happen, please bookmark this post should you require new material.

Pre-Game

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, but I've been [lame excuse] and so it's been tough to [lamer excuse].  

Anyways, big game tonight, Hounds!  We're playing [chump team] at [late time] o'clock at [field name].  So far, they've beaten [chump team] but have also lost to [chump team].  We definitely have to [expression meant to convey the need to try really hard].  Let's try to [verb] on our [adjective] stack offense so we can keep improving.

[And now here's a random YouTube clip that has something to do with the name of the team we're playing]:

Post-Game

[Positive superlative] game last night Hounds!  I was a little worried when [random mistake, loss of consecutive points, etc...] happened, but after that [negative adjective] start, we really started playing like [occupation].  I don't think we've ever played any better.  

Defensively we really played well, especially Owen and Joel who must have had at least [number] layout D's.  And could you believe that Austin and Laura both got Callahans?  And it seemed like Bonnie and Lyanne got something like [number] hand-blocks.

On offense, we moved the disc very [adverb], and had our share of stand-outs as well.  From Christian pulling out the full-field [currency noun]-maker, to Nat's [number] layouts we had it going on.  Then there was Tien successfully completing his [gymnastic tumble] pass for a point.  I can't believe I actually skied [their tallest and best player] to bring that down!  But the best had to be Simon and his [number] Greatests!  Simply amazing!

[And now here's a random YouTube clip that has something to do with the name of the team we just beat]:

So, if it's been awhile since I've updated the blog, just fill in the blanks for a brand new post.

Shut up. That's why.

I admit I've been a bad little blogger. It's almost been a month since I posted anything on Release the Hounds, and Bonnie, Pierre and Christian are all making me look bad. So, why has it been so long since I've graced you with my presence? Is it because I'm lazy? Or just really busy? Umm...just look to the title of the post.

So, tonight we have a game against Superfreaky. My crack team of scouts tells me they are 2-1-1. Other than that, I don't know much about them. All I do know is that as a team we must support each other...no matter how horribly inappropriate our actions happen to be on the field.

Do the Monday Countdown

It's been a couple of months, but Release the Hounds made their way back onto the pitch last night, taking on the Disciples of Love to open the "Fall" TUC League. After some initial suckiness by both sides, The Hounds were able to forge ahead and take the first game of the season, 32-27 (give or take 5 points). Lyanne will work to keep that perfect record as Field Captain next week.

I thought our offense was solid, but also a little sporadic. I heard something about using horizontal, but it seemed that we didn't really have much structure. But it's the first game, and I'm sure we'll shore that up.

Even though the HHH wasn't there (cough Wongs cough!), I have been informed that the winner was Joel, thanks to his great hustle on offense, and domination on defense. I'm sure it has nothing to do with guilting him for the fact he's missing the next two weeks.

Some things to note:

1) BMO is a nice field...if you're into things like soft turf and lots of space.
2) The fast pace of speedpoint suits our style.
3) Subs rule! Big Dan, Tyler, Sarah...glad we had them there.
4) 11pm games...BOO!
5) That scoreboard was too confusing to operate...our trouble with it means one thing: we need Cindy back!

When I saw that we were playing the Disciples of Love, I was trying to find some inspiration for the post. All I could find on them was their old site, which is pretty much a BBS that has been spammed worse than my old Hotmail account.

For me, there is another group that I consider to be the true Disciples of Love:

A Eulogy for my beard

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away (i.e. last December in the Philippines) I started growing you. Since there was little access to hot water, I found out very quickly that shaving wasn't going to be an option. Plus, I'm lazy and didn't want to.

Since then, we've been through a lot together. You kept me warm in the winter months, and really hot in the summer. But that's ok.

You were there when I became the Field Captain, lending an air of respectability and confidence so I could lead the Hounds. Without you, we would have crashed and burned at the playoffs. Oh wait, never mind...

You made me look much older...I don't think I've been carded at the Beer Store since you've been around. There's no way I would have been able to join up with that Master's team at Nationals had I been clean-shaven.

Along with that, you've allowed me to appear dignified and made all of my actions look distinguished...like that time I got really drunk and went streaking through the quad.

But that has all come to an end. One of my best friends just got married, and since I was in the wedding party I needed to clean up. It's only been a week, but right now there's a whole in my heart that I'm not sure can be filled.

I guess what I'm trying to say is...I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, when he made Pearl Harbor.


For those who haven't seen me since the shaving...

Before:


After: