A sign that the Apocalypse is upon us

From: Christian Parsons

Subject:  Re: Hounds @ BMO - Jan 28th

Simon,

I think the game is at 9pm, not 10pm.

2798     21:00 - 21:55     BMO A     Sofa King: We ...     Release The Ho...

- Christian

From:  "Maycock, Simon"

Subject:  Hounds @BMO - Jan 28th

Hounds,

Semi-Finals next week, and we play the #1 seed...Sofa Kings!  Same roster as last week except Nadia back in for Connie.

Time     10pm

Versus     Sofa Kings

Place     BMO A

Roster

Guys     Chris, Tien, SImon, Joel, Christian, Austin, Owen, Marc

Gals      Nat, Bonnie, Lyanne, Nadia (in for Laura)

Subs

Marc in for Mark W

Simon

Christian correcting Simon on the schedule?  Has hell frozen over?  Are pigs flying?

How else to explain this?  I think it's a sign from God, but don't quote me on that.

We must be headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.

This must mean Old Testament, real wrath-of-God type stuff...fire and brimstone coming down from the skies.  Rivers and seas boiling!

Forty years of darkness; earthquakes, volcanoes!

The dead rising from the grave!

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together...mass hysteria!

Meat-o-rama

The Wong's sure out-did themselves on Saturday! The Hounds got together for the "Bowling and Beef" end of season party, which was a lot of fun. In true Hounds fashion, the food was plentiful: appetizers, 10 racks of ribs, 2 beer chickens, a beef brisket, 2 trays of potatoes, salad, apple crisp and ice cream sundaes (although I'm sure I'm forgetting something). Due to this overload of food (and the fun), the bowling plan was kiboshed, as we hung out, watch the Leaf's game, tossed the disc around, and tried to digest the feast. Thanks Nat and Tien for hosting.

For those who missed it, we also handed out Paper Plate Awards for the past season (including significant others!), so here they are:

Cindy - The Jumbotron Award - For always keeping score (this has nothing to do with the back that she's 7 months pregnant. Nothing at all.)


Michelle - The Ultimate Widow Award - For dealing with my playing 2 nights a week...plus tournaments...plus me always talking about ultimate.

Steph - The Soon-To-Be Ultimate Widow Award - Joel's back...hope you enjoyed your time with him!

Matt - The Pay-Per-View Award - For his parties featuring wrestling and UFC. Apparently it meant a lot to him:


Pierre - The Awesome Award - What else could it be?

Lyanne - The Accident Waiting to Happen Award - If there's a way to get hurt, Lyanne will find it.

Austin - The Real World Award - Finally finished school, now has a job AND a baby on the way. No baby steps for Austin!

Carla - The Half Full Award - Whether we were winning or losing, Carla was always positive and making suggestions for improvement.

Dan N - The Reluctant Handler Award - For his willingness to drop back and handle even though I know he'd rather go mid or deep. He was close to getting the Jacques Cousteau Award, for his affinity for throwing the deep bomb.

Tien - The Pylon Buddy Award - For always helping me put away the cones on the Field Hockey pitch...much appreciated. He almost got the Potty-mouth Award...

Nadia - The Cool as a Cucumber Award - For always being a rock in the backfield and never losing her cool (apparently this would have been unheard of a few years ago).

Christian - The Energizer Bunny Award - For never stopping on the field. That, or he's pink and bangs a drum all the time.

Laura - The Kick in the Ass Award - For helping to right the ship when the Hounds went off course.

Owen - The Endzone Award - For his domination in that area. It would have been called "The Thomas Granofsky Memorial Award", but Owen doesn't know who the hell that is.

Bonnie - The Incredible Hulk Award - Because you shouldn't get her angry...you wouldn't like it when she's angry...

Dan L - The No No No No Yes! Award - For always completing seemingly impossible passes. It was either that, or the Midvale School for the Gifted Award for best pulls.

Nat - The Rolodex Award - Whenever we needed a player (especially Mid-Season) Nat was always there to find someone to fill in.

Joel - The $6000 Man Award - Because that's about how much knee reconstruction surgery costs OHIP.

Simon - The Daddy Award - Others can be captain, or have kids, but we all know Simon is the Daddy of the Hounds.

Chris - The "The Man" Award - Because I have a penis.

Now, those weren't the only awards that were handed out. Simon out-did himself by awarding me a wicked Captain's Prize: the best bottle of Cognac one could ever hope for:


I'd like to think that the bottle is made for Snowplate and Gender Blender, but I'd be concerned about breakage. Otherwise, here I am enjoying my prize:


The final award was the inaugural "Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achivement in th Field of Excellence". The vote was close, but one person distanced himself with his dedication and rib-cooking. That person: Tien.


Here's a close-up of the award. Thanks to Bonnie for supplying the Mr. Burns bobblehead, and to Tien for helping me to affix it to the disc.


So, that about puts a wrap on the Summer 2007 Season of Release the Hounds. The Indoor Season starts in a month, and remember, the next outdoor season is only 6 months away!

Smithers.
Yessir?
Release the Hounds.

Show's over

So, it's been a few weeks, but since we just had the Hounds End-of-Season Party, some closure on our Monday shenanigans this past season is in order.

It all started when the lineup of Austin, Bonnie, Chris, Christian, Laura, Lyanne, Nat, Pierre, Simon and Tien was augmented with our best recruits ever: Carla, the Dans, Nadia and Owen. We had new uniforms, we were playing on a new night, we were ready to go.

Instead of going through every game individually (that would be a waste of time), I'll be putting the games into groups.

The Hounds move to Mondays

The initial seedings gave pegged us at 14th...on Mondays we were a relatively unknown team, so we were going to have to earn our place. After our first three games, we overwhelmed the competiton: Drastic Plastic, Grilled Cheese and Flowbee. The games were relatively easy, ending with scores of 17-5, 17-4 and 17-7 respectively. After those first three games, it appeared that we were seeded a little low to start (Oh, you think so, doctor?). While the games were easy, it allowed us to integrate the new players, and bump us up in the ladder, which meant that tougher games were on the horizon.

The Hounds meet the big boys

The big wins to start the season moved us up to play the strong, experienced Monday teams. We started with Disc-Horde, and showed that we did indeed belong in the Top 8 with a convincing 17-11 win. We were feeling good about our new surroundings...approaching the top of the Monday standings. Unfortunately it also raised the ire of everyone else, and they struck hard, struck fast, with no mercy. Lopsided losses to Big Hammers, Mandrew, and Ninjastars were frustrating and they showed the Hounds still had a lot work to do before we could consider ourselves to be among the top Monday teams. But there was more than that...those losses, coupled with the change of nights caused us to stray away from what made the Hounds experience so fun...this was something that had to be remedied. A new plan that would improve our on-field focus to go along with a renwed commitment to social events. Back to Hounds basics: playing well and having fun on and off the pitch.

The Hounds get their shit together

The previous losses meant that we had crashed down the ladder, so we had to work our way back up to get to where we knew we belonged. With central leadership on the field, we put forth solid efforts against Hootenanni Pussywillows, El Kabong and 4D. The Hounds also finished 7th in the Mid-Season Tournament that was enhanced with the some friends ("enhanced" meaning Nat and I emailed everyone we know to get enough players to get a team in).

The Hounds vs the big boys 2: The Legend of Simon's Gold

The three big wins in a row resulted in another jump in the standings, which meant another run at the top teams, with the first game against the venerable Mandrew. We knew going in it was going to be a challenge, and while the score did not reflect it, we gave a much better effort. Of more importance though was the roster shuffle: the returrn of Joel from knee surgery and Pierre's final game.

Following that game, we defeated two of the second-tier Monday teams, Fisheyes and Disc-Horde. These games were sandwiched around Nationals, which had quite the Hound presence, with Carla, Chris, the Dans, Laura, Lyanne, Nat and Tien taking part.

Going into the final two games, we were up against two of the elite Monday teams, and earned our 4th place regular season finish with ties against both Ruckus and Big Hammers. It was a great finish to the season, as we very well could have won both of those games.

A tough pill to swallow

With those big results against the Hammers and Ruckus, the Hounds were primed to do some serious damage at the playoffs. However, due to a confluence of work, family and travel commitments...it created the perfect storm that caused us to miss the Playoff Tournament. Needless to say, it was extremely disappointing.

Regardless of that, it was still a great season. We went 9-4-2, and ended up with a perfect spirit rating. We had a lot of fun, and we continued to put the Hounds name out there. I know I'm looking forward to next year.

David vs Goliath

Big game tonight against Big Hammers. No insider info on this one...however, we do know they finished 7th at Nats, have only lost to Mandrew this year, and will likely play a zone d. It's going to be a very tough game, but let's see if the good guys can win this one.

Since it just wouldn't be a post without some sort of video, here's a classic Gravey and Jobriath episode:

A short-handed Horde

A little belated, but I just want to put a post about the game on Monday. Of course, it was the re-match with Disc-Horde, as apparently they didn't fall for the donut trick. With the windy conditions it gave us our first real chance at a dedicated zone; before we had only used it for the occassional point.

After a slow start, we were able to really clamp down on them, with the cup putting pressure on the mark (trapping worked well) and the mids taking away the easy swing pass. The transition to melt also netted positive results, as we rarely looked disorganized and we able to get on our marks quickly.

On offence, the handlers did a great job on maintaining composure and swinging the disc until the upfield pass was open. Once we broke down the zone we had great flow, while still being chilly with the disc. One thing to work on would be for the poppers to work together more to open up space for each other.

Of course, we were fortunate that Disc-Horde seemed to be a little short-handed...if we play them again, we might have to take greater measures to get through the Horde...

Only 1 week late...

Alright, I finally saw the Simpsons Movie last night. Michelle and I were joined by a few other Hound-folk (Nat, Tien, Joel, Steph, Laura). And yes, they did Release the Hounds in the movie, so it was well worth it.

I'm not going to go too much into the movie itself since I'd end up giving away the ending (hint: it might involve Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin and Eric Cartman having a fart contest to save the Earth. But it might not.). If you're a Simpsons fan, well then you've probably already seen it. If you're a Simpsons fan and haven't seen it yet, then stop being a cheapskate and give Matt Groening his $12. You've been living off free episodes for years...is that too much to ask?

If you're not a Simpsons fan, then get the hell out of here.

The one thing I will mention was the previews. Not too many, which was a welcome change. Although one was the most disturbing thing I have seen since I saw Se7en and the knife/sex device that John Doe made the guy from Very Bad Things use on a woman.

Let's just say the jokes involve the worst version of Funkytown ever, plus eating crap. Against my better judgement...



Some questions for Jason Lee: Underdog AND Alvin and the Chipmunks? Really? Is Kevin Smith not returning your phone calls anymore?

My tongue hurts from biting it too much

I was hoping to have a full preview of this weekend's TUC Mid-Season tournament, including in-depth scouting reports on the teams, and each team's odds of winning.

Plus, I was going to...er...include the meaning of life, then perhaps show how to make special brownies and...um...post naked pictures of Jessica Alba and Tom Brady. Too bad the change didn't allow me the time to do that.

So, all I can say is that scheduling mistakes can be a whole lot worse...just ask Jasper:



See you tomorrow at Sunnybrook!

A 24 of ale will cover it? Sold!

As most of you know, our old friend and former-Hound Hamid has built quite a reputation for himself as a master-blogger with his site, The Roman Empire. But he is about to become a Toronto-wide celebrity, as his visage will adorn the back of four vehicles in the Sport and Social Club fleet.

For those who have kept up with his site, this is not news. Although, I think it is news that he's going to be on FOUR vehicles...he thought it was only going to be one.

So, why am I bringing this up now, three weeks after Hamid wrote about it? Well, I do have something to add to his story about his picture on the van. At the bottom of his post, he noted: "Hmm, shouldn’t TCSSC be paying me a bazillion dollars to use that photo? What’s that, you say? A 24 of ale will cover it? Sold!"

Well, I showed my director his site (she was away until this past Monday) and she told me to get that man some beer. So, from the lawyers who brought you "The Shinning", may I present to you, Hamid with beer, in front of Hamid on a van.

I'm sorry to say to Hamid though, you totally under-bid yourself. We would have got you at least a 28-pack. Sucker!

Beware the wrath of Carla

Phew! Carla, you would not have been disappointed with the second half of the game. We started the second half the same way we started the first, and powered our way to a 17-8 victory. I think it was by far our best all-around performance. I think we'll look back on this game and say that was the game where we turned the corner. Or else we'll look back and I'll feel like a colossal ass for saying that just now.

Defensively we had quite a few great individual plays, and we also caused a fair share of Stall 9 throws. Defense can still improve by continuing to work hard, along with communication on the field and help from the sidelines.

I really thought the offense was the best it's been in quite awhile. Smart, quick throws really allowed us to do whatever we wanted out there. We rarely got caught on the sidelines, the HO worked pretty well, people were making crisp passes and motivated cuts.

So, the re-launch of the Hounds has started well. But, to paraphrase the Wolf from Pulp Fiction, let's not start licking each other's popsicles just yet.

Thoughts on the game?

Also, Dan and Owen were introduced to the ritual off the Hounds post-game meal. We'll eat anything...

The Horde is coming

After three relatively easy games to start the season, we have a tough one coming up on Monday. Disc-Horde has been playing together for awhile, and we will recognize quite a few of the players from Wasabi. I'm looking forward to our first big challenge of the Summer, and I'm not talking about figuring out how we're going to get to Finch/Midland by 6:30.

We have been fortunate so far to have played teams ranked lower than us (currently 13th, 23rd and 25th respectively), but we're getting to the stage where we must be focused for each point. Against Flowbee we had some mistakes at their endzone that we can't allow to happen against a top team like this. We have too many handlers to feel the need to force throws into tight spots to score. No more than three people should be in the endzone, and simply working the disc around while waiting for someone to get open should result in less turnovers and more points. When possible, a 3-person vert stack can be set up.

On defense, hard man-d will be a key to success, but a zone may also be used to change the pace. Some zoney things to work on from last game: a tighter cup, a lot more communication and mids need to pick up open players on downfield and on swing passes.

Hopefully they will be stupid like this horde, but I doubt it:



6:30, Sir William Osler (1050 Huntingwood Dr - south of Finch, east of Kennedy). Bring your white and purple jerseys.

This Commercial Sucks: Jeep Patriot

Another way to waste my time is going to be dedicated to commercials...ones I like, and ones that are stupid. First on the docket: the Jeep Patriot ad with the guys who steal a canoe from some woman and her smart (i.e. asleep) partner.



Why do I hate this commercial? So many things just don't make sense. Like:

How did those guys get there? If they need to canoe away, that must mean their camp is quite the hike away. Don't they have better things to do with their time in the morning of a camping trip? Come one guys...clean up your beer bottles or something.

Why doesn't the woman just wake the guy up beside her and make him get the canoe back? That's what would happen normally.

Why do you care if they took the canoe? You have a Jeep. It's okay. You'll get it back.

How does she magically pick up the wolf from across the river and put it in the canoe? Is she Mr. Fantastic's illegitimate love-child (or perhaps Stretch Dude)? If she could do that, why not just pick the guys up and drop them out of the canoe. Or for that matter, why did she have to drive all the way down-river to do this...couldn't she just do that from her camp?

After the guys jump out of the canoe, how did she get the canoe back? Was it her magic fingers? Did it drift back to her?

And wouldn't the wolf still be in the canoe? I don't know, but he looked pretty pissed...wouldn't it come after her once the canoe got to shore?

Since the guys know her, don't they know that she could do this? Or was this the "unveiling" of her super-power? If so, very anti-climactic. Maybe wait to grab a baby out of a burning building to start showing that off.

How did she get the canoe back onto the Jeep to take it back to camp? I'm guessing the guys she made jump into the water wouldn't have helped her. I haven't loaded a canoe on a Jeep before, but I'm thinking it's more than a one-woman job, unless you don't care about scratching the hell out of your Jeep.

I guess a lot of this can be explained by her "magic fingers", but I feel like I'm missing out on a lot here. If she can do that with a wolf, then what else can she do? How did she get these powers? How far away can she grab things? Can she grab me a beer from the fridge without leaving the living room? That would be awesome.

I really think that Jeep should make a prequel to this commercial to explain these things. Please Jeep, I'm waiting. I need some answers.

A Valentine's Day Suggestion

Of course, today is Valentine's Day. Yet another Hallmark holiday meant to directly inconvenience men, especially me. Of course, if you didn't realize it was Valentine's Day already, that means one of three things:


1) You're single.
2) You're married.
3) You're screwed.

But fear not, I am here to help you. Thanks to my good friend Justin Timberlake, we know exactly what to give your special friend on this day. Okay, I must admit that JT did intend for this to be a Christmas present, but I think the message still applies to today.



So, I know the sound was a little off, as I'm sure the people with filthy, one-track minds think he was singing about a "dick," but that is not the case. Here's what Michelle will be looking forward to tonight...


That's right...it's my Disc in a Box.

Happy Valentine's Day. Oh, and you can thank me later for putting that song in your head all day long.

We're not ready to make nice

A sign that I am getting old: I had no idea that the Grammys were on Sunday. OK, that's not entirely true...I had heard that they were coming up, but I did not care enough for that to register in my little brain. Apparently the big winners were the Dixie Chicks with 5 awards, including the award for "Best song by a duo or group that got shunned for trashing the President but are now revered because it turns out that they were right." The Foo Fighters didn't have a chance.

Of course, had I realized the Grammys were on, I still would not have been able to watch because:

A) I pretty much dislike the music of all the performers and winners...let's just say that if you asked me what I thought about their music, "Not my cup of tea" would be a common response.

B) I was playing ultimate.

As for the game, a 30-22 Hounds victory was the result from Sunday's game against Huckin' Fappy. We did start slow, as we were down 8-6 at one point, but then quickly stopped checking our own prostates to take a 13-11 lead when they took their time out. After that, we stayed ahead on the strength of Simon's hammers (at least 5) and Matt's Callahan (first one?) and cruised to the victory.

So, what worked on offense? Well, other than Simon's hammers, when we moved the disc quickly, we were able to get open, as well as find the open player. There wasn't anything really special I thought...after the slow start, we just really went to work and stopped making mistakes.

But, what can we work on? We didn't move it off the line nearly enough, which caused a lot of turnovers due to throwing into narrow spaces. Also, when we got near their endzone, they would drop back their players back (pretty much into a endzone zone), not leaving much room to make a pass. In those cases, the disc should get into the hands of the handlers, and then quick movement creates open space. I also think we are clogging the lanes a little too much, as we should be creating some space by using a stack offense more, thus opening up more room for longer gains off our initial throws (then we can make the quick passes to get the score). It just seemed like we didn't have much room out there.

On defense, we forced quite a lot of swilly throws from them, which is a sign of good marking.

We did not use our zone enough, which I think was due to them being quite fast on the restart. This did not give us a chance to set it up as we usually do. I think we should also try to set up a short/deep strategy, where you have one man covering the short cuts, and one man covering anyone going deep. This can help to disrupt a team's flow, as well as help anyone who has lost their mark.

Anyway, those are just some of my thoughts. Feel free to add your own comments.

And to sign off, the winners of the 1985 Grammy for Outstanding Soul, Spoken Word, or Barbershop Album of the Year:

I'm sure they're gonna go far

So many things have happened on January 31st over the years. In 1865, the US Congress passed the 13th Amendment, abolishing slavery in America...thus solving all race-related problems in the US. In 1905, the first car reached the fabled speed of 100 mph at Daytona, or as it was referred to in the old Green Machine, "cruising speed". In 1949, the first daytime soap on TV premieres ("These Are My Children"). Pro hockey players and housewives rejoice. In 1969, The Beatles performed their last live concert, on the rooftop of Apple Headquarters. I hope they passed the audition.

Oh, and a big day for me...January 31, 1979 is day Michelle was born. She's at that pivotal age: 28. Of course this is the age when you go from "mid-twenties" to "late-twenties". We'll be celebrating at the ACC, thanks to Lyanne and Matt, who invited us to the Raptor's game. We're expecting a big game from Pape Sow.

Here's a little ditty for Michelle. Happy Birthday!