I hope nothing happens

Tonight we are playing the formidable Banana Cream Pie at Flemingdon Park. From looking at their roster, they are pretty stacked, so we'll see how it goes. But hey, we have 10 people coming, so I'm sure we'll do alright.

Fear not: Grandma the Clown has some inspirational words for us about BCP.

The key to success for tonight: scoring more points than them.

Just wait til you see the pool

Tonight's game location is brought to you Toronto Civic Employees Union Local 416 CUPE. Thanks to the strike our scheduled game for Sunnybrook has been moved to Manitoba Etobicoke.

Our opponent is the infamous "COOL" team, who thinks that counting on their looks will help them win games. Of course, we know most of these players from Tundra, as well as Liver Punch, who we played a couple of times indoors. Those games were a lot of fun (for us) so let's do more of that tonight.

COOL is probably best known for their love of Schlitz Beer. The thing is...whenever I think of Schlitz, all I think of this old SNL commercial...

Schmitt's Gay Beer-Adam Sandler and Chris Farley


Top of the world...

Beware of...uh...Oxygen

Yes, I'm back on the blog, sharing my insights into our weekly opponents...until I get bored with it again.  But at least this blog is still going (*cough*).  

Part of the reason for the blog stagnation is due to the search for subs.  My weekly hunt has lead me to recruit a new General Manager whose job is two fold:

a) Make sure everyone plays each week.

b) Find subs if Plan A fails. 

Obviously, it was tough to find someone who had the extra time, but I'm pretty sure after this week we'll be back to 100% attendance.  He just has this "way" with people.

Before I announce who it is, I just wanted to say some things about this week's team to beat, Oxygen Hazard.  I'm sure some of you will remem-ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

For us is bad news bears (Walter Matthau)

There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures...and the Dutch.

Seriously, that was a bit of a whooping last night. The offense was pretty solid, but defensively it seemed like they could do whatever they wanted. A lot of that is due to the fact that they are an excellent good team who has many different throws in their arsenal. Any ideas on what we could have done differently? Do you think the change to a straight-up mark helped?

Alcohol or Boxing?

Tonight's game is against Liver Punch, who we might also know as Tundra. We beat them pretty badly a few weeks ago, and I'm sure they aren't too happy about it.

Watch out for those low left hooks!

SNOWPLATE!

Of course, a Liver Punch could also refer to what's going to happen this weekend in Sudbury. The Hounds on Ice are looking to repeat as champions, despite all of the damage we'll be doing to our livers on Friday and Saturday...more to come on that...

Not at all like the Amber Fey

For tonight's game, we are playing against Green Fey again. After tying them the last time, a win would be nice.

I had no idea what a Green Fey was, so I did a little search. I thought it might have something with 30 Rock and Tina Fey, but what I found was much more complicated. And lame.

Apparently this is from an on-line, post-apocolyptic role-playing game called Gainar. "In a world where darkness looms, and the shambling dead outnumber the living, a handful of heroes can rekindle the dying light." Who do they think they are...Dylan Thomas?

I hear the cleats in this game are awesome though...

So, what's a Fey?

"Base Movement of 9//, Base AC of 9, non-natives to Gaianar, full flight capability, able to assume an ghostly, energy form for limited periods, able to fire wind blasts at foes, motion-vector detection, ultra-vision, very vulnerable to iron, suffers an experience penalty."

But that's not all. Each different colour Fey is different (duh!):

"Unlike the amber Fey, insanity made the green Fey nasty. They hate all ground-bound races on Gaianar, and will seek to destroy any Human Priest, regardless of their faith. Moreover, they view the Dwarven race as a non-sentient animal race and use them for slave labour and/or food. Green Fey never become Priests of any kind, but instead are Thieves, fighters of all sorts, and hired assassins. Green Fey are always Satanic, and have forsworn supernatural practices to the point that they now have a 25% resistance to all spiritual powers."

Like Towelie, I have no idea what's going on. But I guess we have to be mindful of these full-flight capable, insane, satanic aliens of Gaianar, whatever the hell that means.

[Of course, I'm sure Gaianar players would be like "What the fuck is Ultimate?" if asked, so who am I to judge?]

Why so tired?

I was going to do a complete breakdown of last night's victory, but not anymore since I was distracted by this little bit of awesomeness:

I'll never look at balloon animals the same way...