Wednesday, February 27, 2008

We're as cold as ice

OK, here is a drunken promise made one night to Nat and Tien: the "Hounds on Ice" theme song.  I was thinking the italicized part could be part of this weekend's post-game spirit thingy. 

(With apologies to Foreigner)

Hounds  on Ice

We are Hounds on Ice, we’re willing to sacrifice, our warmth.
Frisbee is our vice, Monday we’ll pay the price, we know

We’ve seen it before it happens all the time,
We’re throwing the disc, we leave our mark behind
We layout for glory, not throwing away
The disc in the endzone, come Monday we’ll pay

We are Hounds on Ice, Flatball in the snow and ice, we love
We found paradise, but our legs have paid the price, we know

We’ve seen it before, it happens once a year
Snowplate is no chore, so crack open a beer
We’re all here for fun, here’s to a great day
(Hooray for) [insert opponents’ name], and thanks for the game


Hounds on Ice – you know that we are
Hounds on Ice – The Hounds on Ice disc team
Hounds on Ice

We are Hounds on Ice, roll the dice, it’s cold, yes it’s cold
We are Hounds on Ice, cold as ice, we know, oh yes we know
We are Hounds on Ice, steam some rice, to go, oh yes to go
We are Hounds on Ice…(fade)

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Snowplate Training Session

9am. Bell rings. Class begins.

Teacher: Okay, settle down everyone, time to get at it. We'll continue our work on Snowplate preparation.

Students take their seats. They are all dressed in purple for some reason.

Teacher: Now, yesterday we heard reports from Tien and Lyanne about what to bring to Snowplate. Bonnie, what's one thing we learned?

Bonnie: Umm...our feet will get wet...and I'm bringing Guitar Hero.

Teacher: That's true. And what's another thing, Joel?

Joel: Lyanne's getting beer...oh, and there's a hot tub.

Teacher: Correct. So, I wanted to show this yesterday, but we ran out of time. It's a Snowplate Training video so you can get an idea of what it's like this weekend, hopefully. I like showing videos, as it allows me to space out for 5 minutes.

[Note: for those in a hurry, 1:14, 2:54 and especially 3:15 are the best scenes. Nice catch Pierre! Graham with an Layout D!]



Help me, I can't think for myself

A rogue group of Hounds and friends will be going up to Sudbury this weekend, to take part in Snowplate. This is the second time in three years that "Hounds on Ice" have made the trek up north, and it looks like we'll have lots of fun, and maybe even do some damage (not just to our livers). But more on that later.

The important issue that must be decided, is whether or not we should bring this:

Of course, this was given to me at End of Summer party at the Wongs. It looks like we could have some fun with it, although breakage is definitely a concern. What do you think? Should we bring it? See below for an artist's rendition of what it will look like:


Place your vote in the poll!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Christian refuses to waive no-trade clause

Citing "what's best for me," Christian has announced that he will not waive his no-trade clause, meaning that he will remain with Release the Hounds for the remainder of the season. This puts to an end the rampant speculation that Hounds GM Simon Maycock would engineer a trade by Tuesday's 3pm deadline.

"We looked at every different angle in terms of what my position has been and the situation of where I am at this stage of my career and all of that," said Christian. "I think at the end, I followed my heart and I just haven't felt the desire to go to any other team or play for any other team at this point."

It appears that in the end, he was swayed by his loyalty to the Hounds and the city of Toronto. "The Hounds have always had faith in me, ever since they brought me in from Zuma. Even when I pull out the money-maker, I know they believe I can do it. I can't walk away from that."

It was thought that the Beach team was looking to add him for depth, however, there may be more to the story. There have been whispers that the team most interested in acquiring Christian was MMV.

When asked about this report, Christian was quick to respond: "Fuck that shit."

Sunday, February 24, 2008

From the guys that brought you Napoleon Dynamite

Next up is Sasquatch and The Dumpling Gang at 11pm on Field A.  They were one of the top-4 ranked teams to start the season, but have lost to both the Disciples of Love and The Ultimate Volleyball Team.  Let's be sure to make it 0-3 for the Gang.

As for their team name, it's from the movie "The Sasquatch Dumpling Gang" (or is it "The Sasquatch Gang"?).  The title of the this post is the tag-line on the poster, even though the Director of Sasquatch was only the First Assistant Director on Napoleon Dynamite, so it's a bit of an exaggeration.

Wow, I sounded like a big movie geek there.

I actually haven't seen the movie...or heard of it before today.  But where else you can't get this kind of extensive research?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

This calls for a Bud Light parody

The poll results came to fruition, as we beat the Apostles of Love (since not all of the Disciples were there) 26-16.  Even though it wasn't their full squad, we beat a team using players from Touring teams such as Zen, Too Bad and Big Hammers.  Great job, since apparently having Touring players is the most important way to identify yourself as being good.

Even after a slow start, once we got our offense going the game was ours.  On defense we took advantage of some sloppy play (too many subs for DoL) to keep them at a very low total.

In other Family Day news; while Lyanne was in Montreal forgetting about us, Christian was busy playing with his camera and YouTube.  Below are two clips: one is awesomely funny, while the other has Will Ferrell in it.


Monday, February 18, 2008

Now what are we gonna do?

Setting: The Ontario Liberals have just convincingly won the 2007 Election.  Now they have to figure out which one campaign promise they will actually keep.

Deputy Premier George Smitherman:  How about that new February holiday promise we made?  Who's going to complain about another day off?

Premier Dalton McGuinty:  Perfect!  Okay people, we need to cook up a new holiday for the winter.  Something to distract the people from realizing I don't work from mid-December to mid-March.

Minister of Finance Dwight Duncan:  Oh, I know.  Spendover.  Like Passover, less talk, more presents.  It'll help the economy.

McGuinty:  No, no, no!  Tory proved that the religious angle won't work.  No, it's gotta be warm and fuzzy.  Something like, um, "Family Day" but not so lame.

[fast forward 4 months]
Terri McGuinty:  Happy Family Day everyone!

And that's how come we're playing Disciples of Love on a holiday Monday.  This should be our toughest opponent of the season...until we play them again (my guess: 4 weeks).

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Yes, I'd definitely prefer to play Ultimate...

...especially if that's how all Volleyball players act on the court.

Although, I will kinda give the Ultimate Volleyball Team the benefit of the doubt, since I think frustration had set in for them. I'm sure they had no idea what was in store when they got to BMO: a motivated Hounds team looking to show TUC that we do not belong in this level.

It is disappointing that they felt the need to take away spirit points from us, seeing as how they are the first team to do so in over two years. I'm curious as to how they could justify taking away points for "Rules Knowledge".

I mean, I guess there was that one time when Nadia stopped the game to complain about how her marker wasn't calling stalls correctly... Oh wait, it was their player who did that. And she was wrong. I guess that must prove that we're the team that didn't know the rules...

So, this clip is dedicated to Nadia's nemesis from the Monday. If you're reading this, check out this link after you watch this trippy little video...



Seriously though...41-11 is quite the smackdown. Impressive work, but we can't get ahead of ourselves...there are a lot better teams in the division, so we can't allow our heads to get too big. Even though we think we should be in Elite, we still have to prove it. Every week is a test, and Monday's game will likely be the toughest one of the season.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

I'd much rather play Ultimate than Volleyball

Maybe our opponents feel the same way.

Tonight we start the Winter Season with a game against The Ultimate Volleyball Team at BMO.  Let's get this season started with a big win against one of the other top-ranked teams.

To be honest, when I think of the Ultimate Volleyball Team, the first thing that comes to mind is Super Spike V'Ball, which I played a lot in my Nintendo years.  My "team" was definitely the real Ultimate Volleyball team, as I ruled that game.  I still remember my friend Shawn cheering me on as I beat the USSR to win the World Cup.  It was one of the games that was usually in my rotation; games like Ice Hockey, Tetris, Contra and Baseball.  I played V'ball so much that I changed the game lengths so it was a game of 5; after awhile I thought it was unnecessary to continually beat the teams 15-0.  

I usually chose to play as the "tough" team, as they almost had the biggest spikes.  That they were the worst defenders didn't matter...it was always fun to kaboom the crap out of all the teams.  An excellent way to relieve stress.  Oh Mr. McGee, you thought a pop quiz today would be fun...?  KABOOM!!

Now that I think of it, it kinda makes me want to pull out my NES and take on the World Cup.  You think it's okay to play like a jackass at your rec floor hockey game?  KABOOM!!

So what does all of this have to do with the team we're playing at BMO.  Uh...nothing.

In the Fall I think they competed in the Tuesday 5's League, which means they could be rusty if they haven't had a good run since December.  I also played against them with I'm Idahucker in the Summer, a game with we won 17-8, so take that for what it's worth.  

Friday, February 08, 2008

Another season, another recap


The "Fall" season came to an end on Monday with the Hounds on the bad end of a 21-20 score to TURD.  We took advantage of some quick (and uncharacteristic) turnovers close to TURD's endzone, but were unable to maintain that lead.  We had some trouble when we tended to hold onto the disc too long, but when we moved it quickly we were more successful than Bonnie paying off her student loan.  After the sweet start, TURD used their deep threats to come back and take the lead.  We were able to keep it close for most of the game, but a furious comeback resulted in the Hounds coming up just one point short in the 3rd place game.

So, we finished the Fall Season with a 4-6 record.  While we'd rather be on the sunny side of .500, we can look at the positives of beating the "elite" Bush League All-stars in the quarterfinals (which guaranteed our final 4th placing), having two somewhat solid games against the Sofa Kings, defeating the solid Disciples of Love to start the season, and giving Monster and TURD legitimate scares.
Christian has ideas, he's drunk, and he bleeps the Prom Queen

At least one Hound won something on Monday...Christian's blog, Idea Drunk, won the Best Business/Finance Blog category for the Canadian Blog Awards.  You may recall Christian soliciting your votes by his "Hey, look at my drunk friend" campaign, which no doubt had as deep an impact as that movie...what was it called again...?  Oh yeah, Armageddon.

Of course, if there's no "Best Ultimate Team Blog" category, then it's really hard to take these awards seriously.  

(OK, I made this joke already on Idea Drunk, but I think it's funny so I'm using it again)

You don't look like Tanaka

Why is it that I feel like we're Frank Dux trying to compete at the Kumite?  We thought we had arrived to Elite, ready to kick some ass (or, at least try to), only to have our acceptance questioned.  I would have hoped that crushing the brick that is the Bush League All-Stars (in the quarterfinals!) would have been enough, but apparently not.



[Did you notice my Hong Kong doppelganger?  No, not Dux's weaselly tour guide...]

TUC thinks we should use this opportunity to develop our team, although I must say that it's tough to seriously develop while playing Indoor 6's; it's not exactly the same game that we play in the Summer.

There is a small light at the end of the tunnel though, and they mentioned that they keep an eye on the competition, so maybe if we play well we'll get a chance to go up against some of the top teams.  Although to be honest, I'm about as skeptical of that happening as I am when I received that email from the Honourable Henry Mbenga promising me untold riches if I help him to transfer millions of dollars from Nigeria.

I don't know about you, but I'd like to use this "opportunity" to prove that we belong in the top division.  Let's continue to play hard for 60 minutes each Monday and get that +/- as high as we can.  

We better have some socials at some point this season

Did you get the latest issue of Layout?  Apparently BMO is coming down a teensy bit earlier than they originally thought, which means we could have some Friday games at the end of the season.  If we get stuck in Competitive for the whole season, we'll have Friday games on March 28th and April 4th.  This will also means that the break between Winter and Spring games will be over a month and a half!  Be prepared ready for some practices so we avoid getting rusty.

The original flying disc

This year's Pie Plate (note: PDF) came out recently and the Hounds could be found throughout:
  • Page 3 - Honoured as one of nine teams who maintained a perfect perfect spirit point record from the Sumer.  Oh yeah, we were also perfect in the Fall!  Take that, bitches!  I mean...uh...[English accent] nice play, my good sport.
  • Page 7 - A picture of a dashing young gentleman exhibiting perfect form on a flick.
  • Page 9 - Pictures of winning teams including Monday Champs Big Hammers (Lyanne and Nat...although this picture was from the Mid-Season Tournament...Lyanne and Nat weren't on the Monday Hammers...they were on a better team on Mondays); Tuesday Champs I'm Idahucker (Chris and Nat, not pictured: Christian at V-Fest); and Sunday Fall Champs Red October (super-sub Marc).
They had hard copies of Pie Plate available at BMO on Monday; perhaps they will have them there this Monday, if you want a paper copy to read while you're watching MASH and playing with your hula hoop.

Phew, that was a long one...

Sunday, February 03, 2008

That's right. It's a funny name.

Monday night is the final game of this season, where we find ourselves in the 3rd Place game against TURD.  10pm, Field A.  Let's end this session on a hight note.  

After all, everyone knows that Turd Ferguson isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer:



Vote or Die

Don't forget to vote by Noon on Monday on what we are going to do.  Right now it looks like we're going out for beers anyway (details TBA), but let's make it real official-like.  While it's still up in the air if Christian's baby-makers get a booting, it looks like we're not going to make TURD cry.  It's your duty to exercise your right to vote...don't make me get Puff Daddy on your case:



Interestingly enough (or not, depending on your maturity level...mine's low), this song was from the "Douche and Turd" episode where the kids of South Park Elementary have to vote for the new school mascot: a Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich.  

Meanwhile, on Field B

The real Super Bowl game is also being played at 10pm on Monday.  Sofa King: We Taught It is up against Monster.  I'm giving the edge to the Sofa Kings, although Monster can definitely pull off the upset.  If the Giants can beat the Patriots, then anything can happen.