Thursday, May 31, 2007

Just when you get on a roll

A mathematical equation on how to make a successful video:

(OK Go + Treadmills x 8)^YouTube = 1 Kick ass video

Here it Goes Again...

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

A new look, and a new Hound

We had Game #2 last night and let's just say, it was nice to see everyone. Unfortunately for both sides, the result was a lopsided 17-4 score for the good guys. Grilled Cheese definitely has some potential, but last night it was quite the mismatch. But we wish them well and perhaps we will see them later after some seasoning. It was still a great night to play some flatball, so no complaints here. We also had the official debut of Owen, who looked pretty good in the endzone.

There was a notable delivery, but it had nothing to do with Simon missing the game. As far as I know, Olympia (and Simon) is still waiting to pop out Simon Junior, but in the meantime our snazzy new shirts made their first appearance. Modelling below is Austin, who along with Cindy are expecting their first child! Congratulations!

Yes, I see the shadow on Austin and Cindy...Ansel Adams has nothing on me!

Monday, May 28, 2007

With or without Ketchup?

Game #2 pits us up against Grilled Cheese, not to be confused with Cold Grilled Cheese (another Monday team). I'm not familiar with this team, so we'll have to be ready for anything. Anyone know what this team is about?

We're at Earl Haig, which is near Yonge/Sheppard (100 Princess Ave). Check the TUC site for further details.

Tonight we could see some more of the HO, as well as some zone defense. And perhaps we'll finally get our new jerseys, but only if you have paid Simon.

And do you remember when you would mess around with your friends, doing inane things? Now, thanks to YouTube, you can share those moronic moments with everyone.

Also, D(elivery)-Day is approaching for Simon and Olympia, which means that yours truly will be steering the ship in his absence. Just don't do anything to make me shake my fist at you.

Friday, May 25, 2007

This Commercial Sucks: Jeep Patriot

Another way to waste my time is going to be dedicated to commercials...ones I like, and ones that are stupid. First on the docket: the Jeep Patriot ad with the guys who steal a canoe from some woman and her smart (i.e. asleep) partner.

Why do I hate this commercial? So many things just don't make sense. Like:

How did those guys get there? If they need to canoe away, that must mean their camp is quite the hike away. Don't they have better things to do with their time in the morning of a camping trip? Come one guys...clean up your beer bottles or something.

Why doesn't the woman just wake the guy up beside her and make him get the canoe back? That's what would happen normally.

Why do you care if they took the canoe? You have a Jeep. It's okay. You'll get it back.

How does she magically pick up the wolf from across the river and put it in the canoe? Is she Mr. Fantastic's illegitimate love-child (or perhaps Stretch Dude)? If she could do that, why not just pick the guys up and drop them out of the canoe. Or for that matter, why did she have to drive all the way down-river to do this...couldn't she just do that from her camp?

After the guys jump out of the canoe, how did she get the canoe back? Was it her magic fingers? Did it drift back to her?

And wouldn't the wolf still be in the canoe? I don't know, but he looked pretty pissed...wouldn't it come after her once the canoe got to shore?

Since the guys know her, don't they know that she could do this? Or was this the "unveiling" of her super-power? If so, very anti-climactic. Maybe wait to grab a baby out of a burning building to start showing that off.

How did she get the canoe back onto the Jeep to take it back to camp? I'm guessing the guys she made jump into the water wouldn't have helped her. I haven't loaded a canoe on a Jeep before, but I'm thinking it's more than a one-woman job, unless you don't care about scratching the hell out of your Jeep.

I guess a lot of this can be explained by her "magic fingers", but I feel like I'm missing out on a lot here. If she can do that with a wolf, then what else can she do? How did she get these powers? How far away can she grab things? Can she grab me a beer from the fridge without leaving the living room? That would be awesome.

I really think that Jeep should make a prequel to this commercial to explain these things. Please Jeep, I'm waiting. I need some answers.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Some unexpected readers

It appears that Simon has put our site on our TUC team page, which has resulted in quite a few hits from curious people wondering just what this "Release the Hounds" team is about.

I must say that when I started this blog, I wasn't really expecting more than about 20 people to read it...ever. Hell, I don't think my wife has even read it. That being said, it was just a matter of time that the exploits of the Hounds were going to become a world-wide phenomenon, so I guess I should have expected this to happen sooner or later.

So, this post is for all you TUC'ers who have stumbled across my humble site, trying to gain some insight into who we are, and more importantly, how to beat us.

We are Release the Hounds; and no, you're not going to beat us. But I'm sure it will be a fun game.

We are starting up our third year together playing this game some like to call Ultimate Frisbee, but we call Flatball. There has been a lot of changes to the roster, but there are still nine of the original Hounds still kicking around. Of course, you can read more by checking out our archives, as well as the Inaugural Address from this site, which is actually the second version of the Hounds on-line.

If you are going to read the tripe that I am posting, then you need to know a few things:
1) I'm a sarcastic, cocky, smart-ass wanker who really doesn't take many things seriously.
2) I'm not expecting anyone to read this other than the Hounds, and any others do so at their own peril.
3) If I say anything about you or your team, I'm probably doing it to try to have some fun, or to pump my team up. Nothing personal. Unless it's Mandrew...then it's personal.

So, if you are a non-Hound reading this, welcome to our humble cyberspace-abode. Put your feet up, grab a beer, read as much as you'd like, and feel free to post a comment if you wish. Although I do kinda consider you to be like Peter Griffin in the clip below, but it's okay. Nothing much is going on here.

See you on the field.

Release the Hounds!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

And it begins

The Hounds kicked off the season in style, with a convincing 17-5 victory over Drastic Plastic on Monday night. So, what can we take from the game? Honestly, not too much considering DP only had 8 players compared to our 12.

After some first-game jitters, we settled down and took control of the game. A 3-2 deficit quickly turned into a 15-3 lead. We got some good practice in with the HO, with more work to come, since it pretty much suck-diddly-ucked.

How do you get a good HO going? The same way you get to Carnegie Hall...practice. You thought I was going to go with a "lady of the night/HO" reference, didn't you? You don't know me at all...

Some observations:

- Dan L is tall. He definitely ups the height average of the team...too bad Nat and I are bringing it down. Welcome!

- Holiday Mondays = traffic and people coming home late from weekends away. Only 3 more to go! Matt, bring your cleats next time.

- Uniforms are coming! Make sure you have paid Simon by Monday, or else you'll look foolish in your oh-so-old-fashioned 2006 jersey.

Don't forget about practice tomorrow at North Toronto (Yonge/Roehampton). Be there, or Simon will tell you that you suck.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Release the Hounds III: The Return of the Fling

Okay, so it's been two months since I have last posted something. That's almost as long as the ending to the Lord of the Rings (which was on TBS last weekend). Seriously Frodo, just get on the boat already.

After some oh-so subtle comments (like Pierre: "So, should I just delete the Hounds page from my bookmarks?") I've decided to start up again with the start of the outdoor season. A lot has gone on in the past two months since the last post. In no particular order:

- We're about to start the third Summer of the Hounds.

- The winter season ended on a low note...losing the final two games in the playoffs. We're not there yet.

- Our friend Matt left to be the new best player in Spain. More on that another day.

- Spiderman 3 came out. Too many villians. Michelle can't wait for the next Pirates movie, whereas I am looking forward to the Simpsons movie.

- The Maple Leafs teased us all with a big win over Montreal on the second-last day of the season, only to see some goalie nicknamed "Dubie" knock them out of the playoffs in heart-breaking fashion the day after. And now Ottawa is the favourite to win the Stanley Cup. Excuse me while I smash my face in with a frying pan.

- Hamid, Chris, Dan Thomson defended their Spring Tune Up title with the help of Dan Norman, MC, and a few others as they ran the table as "Stupid Sexy Flanders." After playing 6 games, all we could say was "This is the worst pain ever!"

- Simon Jr. still has not been born yet.

- 24 is almost over, and I hate to say it, but I think it's losing it's magic. It's just too much. I can't miss an episode though.

- The Hounds added Carla, Nadia, Dan and Owen as full-time members of the squad. Best recruiting since Michigan's basketball team when they got the "Fab 5".

- The Raptors choked away their first round series to Vince Carter and the New Jersey Nets. That really pissed me off.

- We're two years of bidding away from having a chance at going to Gender Blender.

- A rag-tag group of Hounds finished 13th at TUF. It was the top finish by a non-Touring team. Rob Camp gives us a 5% chance at making he Nationals.

- Someone won Survivor. Apparently it's still on TV.

- The Blue Jays have gone from "optimistic" to "gong show" with injuries to their closer, set-up man, left fielder/leadoff man, ace starter, third baseman, catcher, bat boy and peanut vender. We're pretty much looking to next year already, and we're not even a third of the way through this season. Wicked.

- Canada won the World Hockey Championships with a perfect record. The House of Commons tried to take credit for their "motivation" of captain Shane Doan.

- We have initially been ranked 14th on Mondays. Time to get to work.

- Chuck Norris found me, which is why I'm back to posting.