Friday, October 24, 2008

No Birds Allowed?

I was catching up at Idea Drunk, and saw a great post from a couple of weeks ago (not many words, lots of pictures...my kind of reading).

There are a couple cool pictures, including one that looks like a girl coming out of a Stargate. But there is one picture that I'm calling shenanigans on:

There is no way this is a real sign. Not possible. I don't believe it for a second. Why not? Have you ever seen a "No birds allowed" sign before? No. You know why? Because they don't exist!

For one, look at the sign. If you notice, it is exactly the same shape as the seagull, including the part at the tail that has the feathers sticking up, which isn't always the case. Also, look at the legs: if you were going to make this sign, are you really going to go through the trouble of making sure the bird's knees (or whatever they are) are detailed like that?

Even if you think a sign like that is real, in which situation would it be used? Is someone bringing their pet birds to this part of town? "Damn, I was hoping to bring Squawkie down to the beach today for some fun and swimming, but look at the sign. Shit. I guess we have to go back to our weekly visits to the dump." I don't think so. I know there are some weird pets out there, but come on, a seagull?

Well, if it's not directed at humans, then it can only be there as a notice for birds. But if that is the case then...um...what? They're birds. They can't read. Or understand signs. If they could, wouldn't this sign be all over Trafalgar Square?

I can just picture it...

Bird 1 - "Hey Celeste, what are you up to?"
Bird 2 - "Not much Withrow...I'm hungry, so I was thinking of heading to the beach and stealing someone's hot dog while they weren't looking."
Withrow - "That sounds like fun. Mind if I come? The crazy bread lady didn't show up at the park this morning, so I'm hungry too."
Celeste - "Sure, no problem...let's go."

- Celeste and Withrow arrive at the beach.

Withrow - "Hey, look at that kid, he's totally going to drop his sandwich. Ready to go in?"
Celeste - "Whoa, wait a minute Withrow, look at that sign. It says that we aren't allowed here."
Withrow - "What the...? Really? Oh come on. I've been coming here for years! THIS IS BULLSHIT!!"
Celeste - "Hey man, don't blame me, I'm just a bird who can comprehend what that sign says somehow."
Withrow - "Goddammit. First they kick us out of the subway stations, now this. This fucking city makes me sick. You know how much more garbage there would be on the streets if it wasn't for us? I am so going to write a letter to the editor about this."
Celeste - "I hear ya. Want to go poop on Dave Winfield's car instead?"
Withrow - "Oh, you always know how to cheer me up...I fucking hate that asshole."
Celeste - "Let's book."

15 comments:

Chowner said...

Ha. Nice. I like the Dave Winfield diss.

I'm happy you found some inspiration from my talking animal ramblings.

Anonymous said...

I'm calling shenanigans on you. You and your squirrelly demeanor.

Anonymous said...

Wait.. weird pet? WTF?

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