Thanks to our new super-secret intelligence program, we have uncovered some inside information from our opponents this Monday: Big Hammers. Thanks to our under-cover Hound (let's call her "Lee Anne von Gouligan" so we don't blow her cover), we have received a confidential memorandum regarding the game on Monday.
I have run this coded transmission through a series of decryption programs to discover its true meaning (along with trying to get through the spelling and grammar mistakes). The following is extremely sensitive, for your eyes only, and any mention of the following must be disavowed should you be questioned by anyone on Big Hammers:
Yo Team,
[Translation: Greetings and salutations comrades.]
BIG HAMMERS vs. release the hounds
[Translation: Zone zone zone zone, zone zone zone...zone, zone zone.]
This one will be a beating death of a pack of dogs....hopefully those PETA people won't come out and watch this...it's going to be pretty dirty
[Translation: I am very concerned about this game. Not only does this team have our two best girls, but they are also funnier and better looking than us. Hopefully CUPA won't come out and watch this, as they may give our Regionals bid to them, based on the fact that they are so much more awesome than we are. Apparently they are good flatball players as well.]
It's amazing that TUC actually has this game up a week in advance...but believe it....
[Translation: I laud TUC and their willingness to change their scheduling system, thus forcing their conveners to have to create the schedule on a weekly basis. Where do we play next week, anyway?]
The game is at Flemingdon Park (i would guess everyone knows where that is)...if not here's a map
http://www.tuc.org/field.html?field=flemingdon
[Translation: If you don't know where Flemingdon is by now, then where have you been? There is no reason why you shouldn't be there by 6:15.]
We're on field #5....which is the field nearest the Basketball Court.
[Translation: Perhaps we should challenge them to basketball, since it may be our best chance to win.]
Lyanne and Nat please have your team their on time....the game ends at 8:20pm, because the park is unsafe
[Translation: Lyanne and Nat, we hope your team is late...we would like to start counting points until you arrive...we need all the points we can get... After all, we remember what happened when we played last year. The game ends at 8:20, because that is when Simon has to go home before Olympia kills him.]
The Hammers are known for their athleticism and energetic play, so should they get aggressive, just think of this:
I have run this coded transmission through a series of decryption programs to discover its true meaning (along with trying to get through the spelling and grammar mistakes). The following is extremely sensitive, for your eyes only, and any mention of the following must be disavowed should you be questioned by anyone on Big Hammers:Yo Team,
[Translation: Greetings and salutations comrades.]
BIG HAMMERS vs. release the hounds
[Translation: Zone zone zone zone, zone zone zone...zone, zone zone.]
This one will be a beating death of a pack of dogs....hopefully those PETA people won't come out and watch this...it's going to be pretty dirty
[Translation: I am very concerned about this game. Not only does this team have our two best girls, but they are also funnier and better looking than us. Hopefully CUPA won't come out and watch this, as they may give our Regionals bid to them, based on the fact that they are so much more awesome than we are. Apparently they are good flatball players as well.]
It's amazing that TUC actually has this game up a week in advance...but believe it....
[Translation: I laud TUC and their willingness to change their scheduling system, thus forcing their conveners to have to create the schedule on a weekly basis. Where do we play next week, anyway?]
The game is at Flemingdon Park (i would guess everyone knows where that is)...if not here's a map
http://www.tuc.org/field.html?field=flemingdon
[Translation: If you don't know where Flemingdon is by now, then where have you been? There is no reason why you shouldn't be there by 6:15.]
We're on field #5....which is the field nearest the Basketball Court.
[Translation: Perhaps we should challenge them to basketball, since it may be our best chance to win.]
Lyanne and Nat please have your team their on time....the game ends at 8:20pm, because the park is unsafe
[Translation: Lyanne and Nat, we hope your team is late...we would like to start counting points until you arrive...we need all the points we can get... After all, we remember what happened when we played last year. The game ends at 8:20, because that is when Simon has to go home before Olympia kills him.]
The Hammers are known for their athleticism and energetic play, so should they get aggressive, just think of this:
4 comments:
Chris,
This post is nothing short of genius.
An Anonymous Admirer.
In addition: since the big Rob C says Big Hammers have a >50% chance of getting to Nationals this year and Hounds only 5%(since they are a "B" level team), it would indeed be fairly embaressing to see BH lose. And to add insult to injury, Nat & Lyanne could remind them throughout their Regionals run that "it's a good thing the Hounds aren't here".
Hmm, talk about pressure.
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