I will be the first to admit that I can't jump very high. Combine this with the fact that I'm short, and, well, let's just say that Dwight Howard doesn't need to worry about me taking his Slam Dunk title away from him.
This is why I secretly hate Joel. Sure, Joel is a great guy and teammate, but not only is he tall enough that he doesn't need to stand on a chair to change a lightbulb, he can also jump through the roof. It is very annoying. That is why I am funding a project to travel back in time to steal his Height Mojo. I hope it works better than that time I tried to equip sharks with frickin' lasers attached to their heads.
But there are others who I might also target. Like Kansas City Royal Joey Gathright (already known for jumping over cars); who decided that the best way to avoid a tag was to jump OVER a pitcher on his way to first base:
Of course, this has already been done on the ultimate field, by Beau Kittridge of Colorado's Mamabird:
I hate you all.