To start, what's with casting some 50 year-old, twitchy, Roberto Benigni look-alike as the fairy? If I'm trying to sell ice cream (or anything for that matter) by using a fairy, imp, naiad, nymph, whatever...then I'm starting with this template, and not straying too far:
And what's with the fairy? Does each freezer come with one? Do they work in shifts, or do the live at the store 24/7? If so, he's gotta get into some kind of union, because that would suuuuck. And I'm thinking that having something that can change frozen Nestle products at will; there's gotta be a better use for him than sitting around at the local conveniece store waiting for stoned teenagers to decide what they want to eat.
When the teenagers arrive, was the freezer empty? Was it missing the flavours they desired? NO! When the guy says he feels like a Drumstick, what's the best course of action? Hand him one? Maybe tell him "No problem kid, we have lots of those." Instead he changes all the flavours so there are only Drumsticks. Did he think this kid was going to want to eat a freezer full of Drumsticks? He only needed one.
And then, when girl #1 says she wants a Rolo Chocolate Cone, Mr. Genius Fairy again changes the entire freezer stock to what she wants, knowing full well that the guy wants a Drumstick. Know what I call this? Trouble brewing.
Of course, Token Minority Girl wants something different than the other two, and naturally Benigni-fairy changes the entire freezer AGAIN. (And what's with TMG and how she talks? "I feel like an Aero........Chocolate Cone." Did she forget her line? Was that the best take they could get out of her?) Did Benigni learn nothing from what JUST happened? Is this his first minute on the job? Did no one tell him that sometimes, different people have different tastes and might like different flavours. I don't know what he would do if he worked at Baskin Robbins.
Just to re-iterate: the freezer had all three of those flavours there to start with! That's the point of the Blue Freezer! The fairy (who the teenagers don't appear to see, by the way) serves no actual purpose. And if you need a fairy to keep track of your stock at the corner store, I'm guessing that corner store isn't going to be around for much longer.
Anyways, we go back to spikey-haired dude, who hasn't changed his mind in the past 12 seconds and still wants a Drumstick. Since we know that Twitchy-fairy is a moron, he decides the best course of action is to now turn him INTO a Drumstick. That's for not agreeing on what to eat! Of course, the girls didn't actually want to eat a Drumstick, but that doesn't stop each of them from taking a bite out of their friend. Hell, they don't even look the slightest bit surprised that their friend has turned into a 6-foot-tall frozen snack.
So, the only person who actually wanted to eat a Drumstick is still not able to, because he can't eat himself. And the girls didn't get to eat what they actually wanted. Alright! No one gets what they wanted! The Nestle Blue Freezer...juuuust magic!
And from the way the dude giggles after the girls eat him, it sounds like they did take it easy on his nuts.
3 comments:
Chris,
You are really quite good at this sarcastic humour thing...are you sure you're not British? I prescribe a diet of Fawlty Towers and Mr Bean.
Thanks for writing - these are a great read!
This ad has all the stench of a Canadian Ad shot for bilingual versions such that neither language makes sense.
The fairy "humour" might play in Quebec, but...
They now have a new version of the commercial where ther have now removed the so-called controversial "Easy on the nuts" line and replaced it with "One at a time ladies."
It's still stupid, and now Nestle has shown themselves to be a bunch of wimps.
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